Sunday, Imogen and I went to the pool to swim and sit in the sun a bit. We ate lunch and then got an ice cream cone at the new ice cream parlor that opened last month. It was a wonderful day! We watched the World Cup final at the café in town. She had to leave before it finished because she had to get up early, so I stayed and watched it alone, surrounded by Rwandans rooting for Spain. I walked home sad in my orange shirt.
Monday, we had a staff meeting in Kigali, so I got to go with and meet the Kigali staff and the whole meeting was in English! It was so awesome. I was the only white person, and they weren’t doing it for my benefit, they speak English all the time.
Taught my first lesson to the community health workers at KOAKAKA and Buffcafe. I taught on the difference between gender and sex and gender roles. It was pretty interesting to see the way they thought of gender. It was confusing to them at first, the difference, but once they understood, it was easy to explain. I wrote up a bunch of cards with words like, to be pregnant, to go to the market, to drive, beautiful, smart, decision making, authority, etc.and had them place the cards either for female or male and then we discussed and they regarded almost all as for both! I was pretty thrilled about that. The older men didn’t always agree with the younger’s perceptions and a few, such as: to be weak (women), to be strong (men), to build a house (men), to be pregnant and to clean the house (women) they did not say was both. They all agreed though that those activities (besides to be pregnant) could be done by both, but that it just wasn’t done in their culture. They said women were weak because they get pregnant. I thought that was kind of funny, but also sad. I see the women here carrying huge, heavy things on their heads and working so hard in the fields, I can’t imagine them thinking that they are weak!
Finally got up the courage to go to the American Corner that I pass by every day on the way to work and have been wondering what it was for the last month! I had Imogen go with me. It’s a collaboration with the National University of Rwanda and the American Embassy and there is a huge collection of American magazines and books and movies! I took 3 mags home and Imgoen took 3. Got Entertainment, Oprah, Discover, Popular Science and New Scientist. So excited to have somewhere to get info about home. The mags are about 2-3 months old, but its ok. And no real smutty ones like People or OK! L
Saturday, was the gusaba of one of my bosses. She got married in Burundi about 10 years ago, but until now didn’t have a legal Rwandan marriage. The gusaba is where the fathers negotiate the bride price and then they bring the girl to introduce her to the family. It was pretty funny, but I didn’t understand a lot. The husband’s family is Muslim, so they do not drink beer and the wife’s family kept asking them for alcohol to seal the deal, so they would bring bottles of juice or coke saying “here is your alcohol, like we promised”. And then they were joking about religion and saying we cannot give our son to a family who doesn’t believe in Allah and who are a bunch of drunks! It was pretty funny, the parts that I understood. Two young guys and a young woman brought the cows and did a ‘performance’ where they told stories about how good the cows are and sang traditional songs. My other boss kept leaning over and explaining to me that this was a very traditional part of the ceremony. Oh, and she made me wear a traditional dress, called umushanana. I felt a bit uncomfortable at first, because when we showed up, Imogen and I were the only people under 50 who were wearing one! Then others showed up and I got some compliments saying I looked very nice, so I felt a bit better about the situation. We had to go to a shop in Butare to rent it and it cost $6! I’ll post some pictures soon.
Went to my first funeral for the dad of one of my friends. I’ve never been to a burial before. We went to the church service, the burial and after the burial to the washing of the hands (gukaraba). My friend Felli explained the washing to me as washing away the bad spirits encountered at the graveyard, instead of washing your hands of the person whom you just buried. I didn’t think it was the later, but all I could come up with was that back in the day, maybe they had to dig the grave themselves and so everyone goes and washes their hands afterwards and it just stuck. But I guess it’s really something that everyone has to do. You cannot just go home after the burial, but all must go to the place and wash your hands together. The president came to the church service and I saw him walking out. Mourning here is very different from in the US. People all go to the house and stay until late in the night everyday before the funeral and then for a week afterwards. It must get so expensive because at the house, they must provide drinks for over 50 people for about 2 weeks! I came on Saturday after the wedding and went to the house in the evening with the family and friends. Sunday, we did the same. The funeral, burial and gukaraba was on Monday afternoon and evening. Monday night, we went to dinner at Sole Luna and participated in trivia night and won AGAIN! And we were the smallest team! I have such a smart boyfriend. I contributed about nothing. So, we got our dinner and drinks for free! I think I’m going to order the most expensive meal next time and a fancy cocktail!
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